By talking Trump like a prairie farmer
And by returning to the basics
Republicans are just plain American
It’s the Canadian way
Well, I’m from Buffalo, Maine, you can’t go far wrong there
I’m not from the tristate area at all
Besides, my birth certificate says I’m 100% Trump
And my tax return says Canada, also showing me
A quick trial of a governor of Vermont
I happen to have worked for the Libertarian Party in the past
Oh, and I’m a New Hampshire native too
If you ask me about the Yankees, or even the Mets
Then you’re out of luck
When it comes to my trade policy
I’m all for unfettered markets and trade
But we’ve got to come up with a real plan
A message from the old Grinch
I’m ready to see Mr. Whoville move across the border
I’m still get a lot of crap from the nanny state in New York
(BAD LAUGH)
Many years of school in Minnesota
But now I’m in Fort Leavenworth (APPLAUSE)
Newfoundland, my grandpa had a surf shop
My sister and I learned to look after the equipment
We also learned to look out for our neighbor to the north
Nothing but Saskatchewan from prairie farmers
But I love Canada and I’m glad we’re all together
Our country has come a long way
They say life begins at 35, I’m turning 40
And I still have an ace in the hole
Because it’s all on the rocks now
And I’m hoping the lake level will rise someday
I’m still not sure which province I’m in
It’s Canada all the way, I’m proud to be one with you
And I hope to see you all across the red tape soon!
Best wishes for your day, for your week, for your month
And don’t forget to send some great patriots across the border
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
At best, we’re in the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
A place where Ronald Reagan can’t even find Canadian snow
From prairie farmers
We’re the only bargain bin in the world
Of politics where communism isn’t on our side
Nurturing unbridled capitalism
U.S. education, U.S. government
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
And with all your problems, they’re all on your side
Don’t tell them about the GOP, Republicans in Canada
Or you’ll be on the decline
The books you read in America
Turn back into texts
And college is now an insult
Who wants to be a serious person
They’ll tell you to grow up
And you’ll have to give up this white picket fence
Americans in Canada, they come from abroad
(APPLAUSE)
Maybe you’ll never go back home
If you don’t start thinking
We can make the best America
No matter what you heard
No matter what you talked about
We’ll always go forward
America first
(APPLAUSE)
Get a life, come north
Just remember we’ll always go forward
No matter what you said
No matter what you talked about
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
You’ll hear about just how good we are
Telling you we’re through the mess
Get a life, come north
Just remember we’ll always go forward
To make the best America
No matter what you hear
So bring that illegitimate copy of your birth certificate back home
The Democrats want to see your papers
They’ve proven they’re not trustworthy
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a Canadian
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
A place where Ron Paul can go back home
And we’ll take his message with us
No matter what he said
No matter what he told you
You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a Canadian
We’re the bargain bin, bargain bin all the way
And we’ll say this to you, Canada
Why do you think we’re so different?
Because we grow a lot more crops
And we run a lot less of an economy
We are equal opportunity, work hard
We are fair and open
We will have economic freedom and free markets
We are the bargain bin, bargain bin all